Keegan and me.: The Ugly Easter Eggs

Once upon a time I went to Portland to visit my aunt and uncle for Easter Weekend. We went and saw the Chinese Garden in Old China Town downtown where we had tea in cute little tea cups and almond cookies. I got to ride the train which was exciting. It was very cold and rainy, so we brought umbrellas.

However, the trouble started Saturday night when it was time to dye Easter eggs for the Easter bunny. My aunt had read in a magazine that if you use brown eggs instead of white eggs, the colors turn out better, so we boiled 18 brown eggs. My uncle bought us two dye kits; one had glitter to put on the eggs and the other had paint that you could spatter on them.

LIES AND FALSEHOODS EASTER EGG DYE BOX!

Okay so the brown eggs were our first mistake, so the magazine my aunt read is full of lies and falsehoods too. The colors came out really weak except the green which looked pretty cool. The blue dye turned the eggs black... gross. Next we tried to "swirl" the colors by adding olive oil to the dye mixture. I had never tried this before but according to my aunt, it was supposed to leave "swirls" on the eggs where the dye didn't stick so when you stuck the egg in another color is dyed the "swirled" area. Can you say epic fail? Instead of "swirls" we got spots that looked like some kind of plague or disease. Not Pretty. We didn't give up though, we figured we could cover up the liver spots with pretty glitter and stenciled designs of flowers and cute little bunnies. Wrong. The glitter didn't squeeze out nicely, it GLOBBED. Everywhere. So you couldn't draw cute little flowers or curly-Q's with it, instead you just had to smear it all over the egg. The paint was like the grease you get all over your hands from working on a car, thick and slimy. It also globbed on to the eggs so the only thing you could do was smear it all over. Ew.

Despite our failed attempt at dying easter eggs, I have never laughed so hard or had so much fun while doing it. The Easter Bunny had pity on us and left us Easter baskets after all. Judging by the amount of chocolate in my basket I'm guessing he never found the eggs since we had them hidden in the fridge.

I hope everyone had a happy Easter and remembered who it's really all about (Jesus Christ in case you were wondering) He is Risen!! Woot woot! Much love :)